I grew up in the Pacific Northwest... at least for a while. I lived in three or four other states by the time I was in my 20's. You might think my father was in the military, but no... just a guy who took opportunities and they took him many places. I never resented all the moving, I still don't. I think it has made me able to adapt and able to find a kind of peace in unstable situations. Not that I don't crave stability or a sense of belonging. Recently, I have come to realize how much I do need it. I think I have adapted for so long that now I don't know how to carve out a home.
Recently, I have become a domestic nut.. trying to create a perfect Christmas this year. Yes, it's only mid-November. There have just been way too many Christmases that have been spent in the homes of others, not my own. Not that they have been bad experiences, not at all. Traveling... because I was the one who had moved away. So, it makes it incumbent on you, the one who moved away, to come home if you want to have a Christmas with your family. At least that's how it has worked in my world.
Back to the nuttiness... I spent $300 on a Christmas tree that arrived yesterday. The old tree is tiny, which is what was needed before moving into this house. This tree has a remote control... enough said! 1200 lights... all white or all colors, or ALL the lights. I am not sure it is actually going to fit where I want to put it. The other thing that came yesterday was a nice area rug for the living room floor. It was bought on a revenge-fueled shopping trip last weekend. How dumb is that, really? Revenge shopping shouldn't come out of my own bank account! Duh... I've never really been much a shopper at all. I kind of hate it, really. I am just in this mode... have to create this home... safe place. I'm a little lost in it.
